As with anything in life, swinging has its benefits and challenges. What doesn’t? Even the tastiest pizza pie in town comes with plenty of benefits and challenges. So, if you’re a seasoned swinger or someone new to the game, you’ll find plenty of helpful information throughout this article.
The main thing to take away is that swinging is a lifestyle. It’s something that you can’t turn off and on like a light switch. If you swing once, you’ll want to swing like a monkey in the jungle. That’s just how swinging is; anyone who has swapped partners knows how true those words are.
The Benefits of the Swinger Lifestyle
Benefits, that’s what we’re all here for. We all want to know how something is going to benefit us. Swinging, well, it comes with a ton of benefits. Let’s take a look at how swinging can improve your life and make having fun in the bedroom more enjoyable.
Open communication and honesty
We all have desires to have sex with other people. You’re not blind; you always look at people and wish you could hop in the sack with them. It’s no mystery that humans are sexually attracted to each other.
Swinging is so great because you get to be honest with your partner. You don’t have to lie and pretend you don’t want sex with anyone other than them. The honesty is refreshing, and it feels like you’ve unloaded a ton of bricks from your chest when you come clean about your desires.
Enhanced sexual exploration
Every person reading this has things they want to do sexually. Your partner may not share the same interests as you in the sack. Furthermore, your fantasies might not involve them at all.
What if you fantasize about sex with a BBW (big, beautiful woman), and your wife is razor-thin? You might want to explore that fantasy, and swinging is the only way you’ll ever make it happen. Everyone has fantasies their partner can’t fulfill, and sometimes the rational thing to do is find someone who can.
Strengthened emotional bonds
You’ll notice that your trust increases as you become more honest about what you want sexually in your life. Why? Something magical happens when you’re able to be honest; your partner begins to see you as a person they can trust. No longer are you this person who keeps secrets. After all, if your husband asks what you are thinking about during sex, it’s probably not him. Even though most people want to believe that their spouse is thinking about them during sex.
The experiences you share will bring you closer together. Your bond will grow because you’ve experienced new things and had to learn how to overcome certain obstacles. It shouldn’t be a surprise that expanding your sexual horizons brings you closer together since sex tends to have that effect on people.
Expansion of social circles
The swinger community is very active. You’ve probably heard of swingers clubs and all that stuff. A lot of you go to Facebook to meet people, but there’s nothing like becoming a swinger.
Why are swingers so social? Well, if you think about it, they’re a group of people who need each other. You can’t swing by yourself, and you need to get out there and mingle. There’s a desire to get to know as many people as possible so that you increase your circle of swingers to choose from.
You’ll find that swingers are constantly on the lookout for other swingers, making them unique. Swingers want to know as many swingers as possible, and that’s why they’re so eager to increase their social circles.
Freedom from societal norms
There’s something so refreshing about coming out and saying who you are. Nothing is worse than having to keep a secret, whether it’s to your spouse or everyone around you. Sure, no one is saying that you’re going to run out and tell the world you’re a swinger, but you’re breaking free, and that’s what matters.
There’s a reason why traditional relationships don’t work: they lack the simple honesty to say that the people involved in them want to experience something different sexually. As a swinger, you break free from the chains of tradition, and you have the freedom to express yourself for the first time in your life,.
The Challenges of the Swinger Lifestyle
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that challenges come along with the swinger lifestyle. How can you expect anything new to be nothing but sunshine and rainbows? Life doesn’t work that way, and swinging is no exception.
You will have to deal with jealousy. You might not think you’re the jealous type, but it’s easy to fall into that trap when you discover just how much your partner enjoyed having sex with someone other than you. Also, if your spouse is bubbly with excitement over the person, you might begin to feel jealous.
If you think your spouse gets jealous when you stare too long at someone walking away, just wait until you have sex with that person. Swinging isn’t for everyone, and even those who are the most open-minded people in the world struggle with jealousy when they begin swinging.
Potential for miscommunication
Communication is one of the most difficult aspects of any relationship. Sometimes, the lines of communication break down when you add swinging into the mix. Why? Some people can’t internally cope with their partner having sex with someone else.
Feelings are strange things, especially when one person in the relationship wants something that the other doesn’t. You might go into swinging thinking it will be great and your spouse loves it, but you can’t stand it. What happens? Your lines of communication suffer.
If you have trouble communicating in your relationship, swinging can make things worse. You need to have an open flow of conversation so each person knows what to expect and what to do if things quickly get out of hand.
Stigma and Societal judgments
As you probably already know, swinging is frowned upon in some circles. If some people find out that you’re a swinger, they will change their opinion of you. There’s not much you can do about that because people make their decisions about you and swinging without your input.
Does it matter what people think of you? Well, that’s only a question you can answer. If you have kids, you might want to be extra careful not to let the cat out of the bag about your swinging until after your kids are grown.
Balancing personal needs and group dynamics
As your swinging circle expands, so will the desire to meet the needs of more people. It’s not selfish to say that you need to take time out for yourself. Swinging is a lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean it’s your entire life.
A little bit of something is good; too much, and you’ll find yourself in over your head. If you notice that people are becoming too demanding, take a step back and reevaluate the people in your circle. It might be time to find some new people to swing with who are less demanding.
Considerations Before Exploring the Swinger Lifestyle
So, you’re sold on becoming a swinger. Hold on; there are some things that you need to consider. These are things that you must keep in the back of your mind and also things that you need to communicate with those who are swinging with you.
Open and honest communication with partners
Before you even think about going to a swingers club or using an online swinging site to find couples to swing with, you need to talk about this with your partner. You need to discuss every aspect of swinging, from how you’re going to feel to how you’ll protect against unwanted pregnancies and STIs.
You’ll need to talk about your biggest fears associated with swinging. It’s also vital that you talk about what your expectations are. Maybe your partner wants to bring someone into the bedroom once a month, and you want to do it every day. Now is the time to discuss all this so you’re both on the same playing field when all the action goes down.
Defining limits to ensure everyone’s comfort
What are the limits? Are you only allowed to have sex with someone else when your partner is around? Some swingers have a simple rule, and that’s no swinging in secret.
Hopefully, one of the rules is that condoms are always in use. That’s probably the number one rule that you need to abide by at all times. However, you need to come to terms with all of this long before you even have your first date.
You also need to understand that you don’t know what your limits are going to be until you start swinging. Maybe it makes you feel uncomfortable to see your man kiss another woman or if your partner has sex in a room where you can’t see them.
Set your limits and ensure you don’t break them because if you do, you’ll regretting swinging, which can ruin your relationship.
Self-awareness and introspection
Self-awareness comes from introspection. You need to look inside yourself to figure out who you are. Most people live their entire lives without truly understanding who they are. You’re going to run into all kinds of roadblocks if you continue to go down this path while swinging.
You must be aware at all times what’s going on. You need to pay attention to the reaction from your partner, the person you’re having sex with, and their partner.
If you want swinging to work, you must have your finger on the pulse of what’s going on around you. It’s easy for people to find themselves so involved in what’s going on that they lose sight that there are other people involved.
Navigating safer sex practices
As mentioned earlier, condoms are a must when you’re having sex with multiple partners. You should also inspect the genitals before having sex with the person. Look for any sores, spots, or anything that seems out of place.
Should you use dental dams during oral sex? That’s your call, and it’s something you’ll need to talk about with your partner. Also, don’t think just because you’re doing anal sex that you can skip the condom. Anal sex is even riskier than vaginal sex, and if you’re going up the poop chute, make sure your penis is covered.
You can’t be too safe when it comes to protecting your health. You’re not only ensuring that your health is protected, but your partner’s as well. You’ll find that swingers usually practice very stringent safe sex. You shouldn’t be surprised if you refuse to use condoms so that swingers won’t have sex with you.
Joining supportive communities
The good thing about being a swinger is that you’re joining a huge community of like-minded people. You’ll find that the people at your local swingers club are really open-minded, and they’re willing to talk about anything.
You can also find online communities and forums where you can talk to other swingers. Take advantage of all these communication methods so that you can freely explore your sexuality.
Conclusion
So, is swinging right for you? You and your partner are the only ones who understand that question. The average couple probably isn’t equipped to be able to handle swinging. That’s just the truth, and it’s something that a lot of couples grapple with.
If you are thinking about swinging, make sure you talk it over thoroughly with your partner. Go out of your way to find local swingers in your area and find a couple that both of you are okay with.
Try to find a couple that has been swinging for a while and is willing to show you the ropes. You’ll need the experience and expertise of a couple who know what they’re doing to be able to direct you about how you should feel. You’re going to go through a million different emotions, and those who make the most out of swinging understand those emotions need to be dealt with and not suppressed.
